Errands, Procedures, Chores, and Shots
Warning: This post contains potty humor that some readers might find gross. My cousin Justin, on the other hand, will share it with his son.
I’ve mentioned before that I’m a homebody, and I tend to run my errands in batches. I had one of those batch days recently where I got my car inspected, picked up a fire permit, dropped off some old eye glasses at the post office, turned in some change at the Coinstar machine, returned some items to Home Depot, and took a quick spin around the Apple Store to see if there was an electronic equivalent of a puppy that needed to come home with me. Later on, I dropped off my car for new tires since that’s what the inspectors told me I needed to do.
Often there is an event that precipitates these mad dashes – events where I know I will be out of commission for oh, I don’t know, a few hours.
In this case, I had a lithotripsy scheduled for the next day. A lithotripsy is when they pulverize a kidney stone.
Yes, I had a kidney stone, but it was not causing me any pain, and I didn’t even know I had it. The doctors discovered it through a routine pee test. (Told you there was potty humor. And this isn’t even the bad part.)
In addition to the lithotripsy, I’ve also had a colonoscopy (more potty humor – still not the bad part) within the past year or so. With both of these procedures, it’s either the pre-op or the post-op that gets you, not the actual procedure. With the colonoscopy, it was the prep obviously. Eating good food on a regular basis is important to me, so jello for a full day doesn’t cut it. (You thought I was going to complain about something else?) With the lithotripsy, it was the post-op that took me by surprise.
(Here comes the bad part.) I was informed that I needed to strain my pee through a filter and pick out any fragments of kidney stone. For a week.
It’s enough for one to avoid going pee.
But by the end of the week, I was pretty impressed with the number of tiny, little fragments I had collected in the small plastic cup. I fully expected the doctor to praise me at my post-op visit (as my gastroenterologist had for my colonoscopy prep work). He did tell me I did a good job, which I appreciated, but then he followed up with “It looks like you collected about 3mm of the 6mm stone.”
What? I GOT EVERY PIECE.
It was almost enough to make me go back and filter some more.
That’s it for the potty humor, so, Justin, you can stop reading.
On the way back from the post-op visit, I made another return to Home Depot and then went to the Apple Store to pick up my puppy:
Now that errands and procedures are out of the way, I’m back to focusing on chores. I put that fire permit to good use and got my annual fire going before Sunday’s snow. I don’t think you need to see yet another picture of my fire, but I figured I would share this picture of me tending the fire:
Now, you may be wondering if I ever have any normal fun. Well, yes, occasionally I do. The Fireball parents went out to celebrate our championship, and the moms decided to reenact the famous photo. Oh, the giggling, and the yelling, and the complaining, and the applying of lipstick. We finally managed to take a photo that all of us found acceptable enough to share on social media.
Our kids, and their friends, became immediately concerned for us.
