Angst

Teenagers. Specifically, teenage girls.

Can you think of one you like (other than your own, maybe)?

Now put yourself in their shoes.

How would it feel if you thought no one liked you?

Especially if you desperately needed to be liked by everyone.

Nicole is a teenage girl. She tends to put people in one of two categories: the “Likes Me” category or the “Doesn’t Like Me” category. And most people go into that second category. Think about that. How do you categorize people? (My personal favorite is the “Who?” category.) How would it feel to categorize people the way she does?

This, of course, has had an impact on her life.

In an effort to help her out, the school conducted an evaluation. Their report states there are “significant concerns with depression, anxiety, somatization, attention problems, withdrawal, anger control, negative emotionality, locus of control, poor ego strength, and poor self-esteem.”

Whoa.

I would not want to feel that way.

This has been a learning process for us.  We don’t understand the roadblocks to her academic performance, but we have learned those roadblocks are real. We don’t understand some of the choices that she makes, but we have learned to deal with them rather than judge her for them.  We don’t understand what is going on inside of her head, but we have learned it is painful.

Rather than asking myself why this is happening, I say bring it on. I’m up for the challenge. I can handle it.

But that’s on the good days. The days when she is open and receptive. The days when she likes me.

On the bad days, when she is closed and pushes me away, I want to crawl into bed.

She worries that she hasn’t accomplished anything, can’t be fixed, and will never be “normal”.

There is no talking her out of that.

To me, she is not broken. To me, she is beautiful, smart, talented, funny, very caring, and definitely worthwhile.

I want her to know that.