Friends and Their Votes
Sunday night was not going well at all. In addition to my team being down 28-3 late in the 3rd, my new friends on Twitter (who share my political views) made it clear THEY DO NOT LIKE TOM BRADY.
The evening got much better. For me. Not for my new Twitter friends.
But it did get me thinking. How does someone’s political views or statements change how I feel about them? It’s actually very squishy (and painful.) I really haven’t figured out all the answers to the nuances of that question, but I’ve established the following guidelines for myself.
First, regarding voter privacy, here is something I found on lawyers.com:
Privacy and secrecy. Practically every state has laws protecting voter privacy and secrecy of ballots. The idea is over 1,000 years old and comes from times when threats and violence were how votes were gained.
It’s your vote. In [many] states, it’s illegal for your employer to try to influence how or for whom you vote. Likewise, under the Voting Rights Act, it’s illegal for anyone to bully you or use force or threats of force to influence your vote.
I strongly believe that no-one should be pressured to indicate how he or she voted – even if you are a Pats’ player, coach, or owner or even L.L. Bean.
So, I’m not going to be angry with friends if they don’t tell me how they voted.
And I’m not going to be angry with friends if they are friends with someone I don’t like (e.g., Trump).
But what if I can guess how my friends voted? Well, I better be pretty damn sure about my guess before I take any action. Do I have solid evidence? For instance, what solid evidence is there that Brady, Belichick, or Kraft voted for Trump? (Though I would not be totally surprised if suspicions turned out to be true.)
If I have seen strong evidence or know that a friend voted for Trump, I am more sad and in disbelief than I am angry. I’ve fallen into a state of avoidance of those friends, which is probably not the most helpful strategy. I should be having difficult conversations with them. I wish I was having those conversations here, but I have a feeling those friends are avoiding me as well. But while I’m willing to avoid those friends, I’m not willing to give them up.
One thing I will do: I will call out friends for racist, sexist, xenophobic, homophobic, cissexist, Islamophobic, anti-Semitic, and ableist comments. This is where I really do consider ditching a friend which is painful.
I will also stand against policies supporting those beliefs.
And I would like to see everyone, including the Patriots and L.L. Bean, do the same before things go too far. For those who do, they get my thanks. For those who don’t, I wait in anticipation.
In wrapping things up, here is a quote and a tweet from two Patriot players who will not be visiting the White House:
“I’m not going to the White House. Basic reason for me is I don’t feel accepted in the White House. With the president having so many strong opinions and prejudices I believe certain people might feel accepted there while others won’t.” Devin McCourty to Time
https://twitter.com/MartysaurusRex/status/826049312580894720
