Mirror, Mirror

I actually had a car today. I’m usually odd-man-out when it comes to car sharing around here. This has been going on since Nicole got her license back in January. We were going to get another car back then, but the snow hit. And it didn’t stop. In March, not having that extra car was only a problem for the 10 days Dave and I were in the same state. April and May were a bit trickier, but I’ve moved into the not-easily-dispelled (a.k.a stubborn) stage. I’ve taken it on as a challenge to see how long we (I) can go without that car.

But, as I said, I had a car today. So I went out and ran a few errands — grocery shopping, shoe shopping, door knob shopping, and meeting with a lawyer. (When Dave saw the lawyer pop up on the calendar, he asked if it was for estate planning or for a divorce.)

The shoe shopping was in preparation for two weddings (my brother’s and my niece’s) that I will be attending in July. I have already bought the dress. (Yes, one dress for both weddings.) Now, this is way ahead of the game for me in terms of getting an outfit for an event. Usually I’m very last minute when it comes to this kind of shopping, but I was doing some last minute shopping for another event, and the thought happened to occur to me to look for a dress at the same time.

Why do I procrastinate when it comes to shopping for an outfit? Because I am no Gisele Bundchen. Not even close. I am a short, stubby little thing with no chest to speak of.  Therefore, clothes don’t usually fit right, and I don’t like looking in the mirror. Now, don’t tell me I’m ridiculous. I know I’m ridiculous. You telling me is not going to change a thing.

So back to the shoes. Shopping for shoes is very discouraging for me as well. Because I have a huge bunion. So, it’s either buy cute shoes and live in discomfort, or buy the old lady shoes. Can you guess which ones I go for?

My Glass Slippers

Going from the subject of my feet to the subject of my face – I really wish I wore makeup. I just can’t be bothered.

I’d also like to lose the 5 pounds that I put on a few months ago (suspiciously coinciding with the whole hot flash thing.) Now, I know several of you are using the word “ridiculous” right now with respect to the need for weight loss.  Stop it. Back a few years ago, I had no problem dropping a few pounds. My secret was exercising and having a small snack before I got to the point of feeling starved so that I didn’t overeat or eat the wrong things. That’s it. It was that easy. And because it was that easy, I was very judgmental of others. Well, for some reason, it’s not that easy this time around. So once again, through personal experiences gained, I have learned to be less judgmental of others.

And even at my fighting weight, I have never liked my legs.

I recently read this story on Medium where the author (Amanda Ann Klein) writes:

What do you say when your nine-year-old daughter asks if she looks fat? A simple “No” won’t work because to answer that way would imply that the question itself is a valid one.

It drives me crazy that my daughters each find flaws with their own bodies. To me, their bodies are flawless. To set a good example, I’ve tried to keep the identification of my own numerous flaws to myself (except for this post).

I agree that the question is not a valid one. And we respond to our self-questioning with really bad answers.