On Being Amazed

As any doting mother, I look on my children with amazement.

They are smart, independent, caring, kind, personable, fun, talented, capable, responsible, strong, poised, and beautiful. And I’ll probably think of more complimentary adjectives to add later on.

But there is a different kind of amazement that I have as a mother when I look at my children:

1. How did we get here? I swear I’ve been here the whole time. And I’ve been paying attention. How in the world did we get from where we were almost 27 years ago to where we are today?
2. How was I able to let go? Don’t get me wrong – letting go does provide some relief. But that doesn’t make it any easier.
3. I did that? It doesn’t seem possible. They seem so different, so unique from me. Can I possibly be part of them? Though I know they will always be part of me.

Now I’m going to share a poem with you. (I can hear my family saying “ugh” across the internet.) This poem was written as part of that writing group I belong to by a fellow participant. Reading the poem made me think of the amazement that I describe above.

Relativity

By: Cheryl Gottlieb Boxer

Your face
the prickly planes and deepening shadows
made more defined by passing time
already tell the story of your leaving
Watching as first you crawled, then ran,
then drove away
Biologically, your getaway is not a clean break
cells have seeped through, circled back,
intermingled
Two chimeras concealing fragments of each other
A son woven into brain and bone and heart
boundaries blurred by threads
tense and tenuous
Perhaps this is how a son gives back
your reluctant cellular offering
And I am left in wonder of
the remnants that I harbor

Happy Mother’s Day. Hope your day is amazing.