The “Should”s

When we are kids and in our twenties, we hear the “should”s from our parents.

When we are in our thirties and forties, we say the “should”s to our kids.

When we are in our fifties and sixties, we say the “should”s to our parents.

When we are in our seventies and beyond, we hear the “should”s from our kids.

Behind every “should” that we say is a complex intermingling of exasperation, worry, and love.

To the “should”s that we hear, we sometimes reply with a polite “We make do.”

And it occurred to me, maybe that’s the secret behind a strong marriage:

Deciding, together, what “should”s to give, what “should”s to accept, and what “should”s to let go of.

Happy anniversary, Memere and Pepere.