Tis the Season

What has happened since Portugal? Well, fall has happened. So I may as well get you caught up.

A Jump Start on Fall Chores

Upon our return from Portugal, I got thrown from the frying pan (the tapas and pastel de nata frying pan) into the fire. Pretty much literally.

Jim and Deb came up to the lake for a few days, and Jim is always looking for a project to do up there. He even brought his truck. When I suggested bringing out Amber’s wood splitter, he jumped at the chance. We also burned brush. I think Jim found the technique I learned from my mother – get the fire hot and then pile everything on – a bit alarming. At the start, Deb informed us “Just to be clear, I will be reading my book.”

A Fireball Wedding

Heather’s friend from middle school (elementary school?) and Fireball teammate Kat got married. We saw so many friends and “kids” from the Dunstable days. We got Vinnie (the Fireball parent coach) through his father-of-the-bride speech with our old “Win with Vin!” chant. Lydia, with an ever present smile on her face, made sure the day’s focus was on her daughter, even when Dave knocked her to the dance floor. Most of Dave’s dances, though, were reserved for Derek and Mike. They both FaceTimed him from Jenni’s wedding a week later very disappointed we had sent our regrets.

Pre Columbus Day Weekend

Matt and Megan made their annual trip to the lake. Instead of Pastel de Nata, we enjoyed apples and cider donuts. Many apples. And many, many cider donuts. We also played pickleball (forgot to get a pic), made an impressive fix to the sitting dock, and went hiking.

Closing Weekend

Meagan, Chris, the kids, and Leo joined us for the long weekend to close up the lake. So did Nicole and Brewski. The weekend deserves its own post, but things got away from me. We all love the lake, from those of us who have been going there since the ’80s to the four-pawed newbies. Caleb, as usual, is the most exuberant in his love of the lake. He made his voice heard on our walks around Black Cat.

Back to Florida

After battening down the lake, we headed to Jupiter where all our favorite activities – golf, tennis, and pickleball – are within biking or golf cart distance. (I love the fact that we can easily make do with one car here.)

Sue and Austin joined us a couple days later. We ate out. Many times. We played pickleball. I’m better than Sue. We played golf. Sue is better than me.

I’ll need to work on my golf game.

Tis The Season

This brings you up to late October. Historically, a difficult time for Nicole. We’ve had some miserable Halloweens.

For me, this time came out of the blue. Maybe I’ve been tricking myself into believing she was all set. Maybe it was wishful thinking on my part. Maybe she’s been hiding it from me. She tends to confide more in Heather. This time Heather told her to call me.

She told me she hadn’t felt this way since high school. To the point she was scared. So we had her fly down to Florida.

Over the course of the next few days, we came to the realization that things weren’t going to get better overnight. She and I flew back north to get Brew and so she could start the process of going on leave and getting the help she needs.

And what a process it has been.

Obviously, there were a number of forms to fill out. Including one that needed to be signed by the doctor who chuckled when he recommended inpatient care. Then there was another surprise form that needed to be signed by that same doctor, but he was going to be out of the office for a few days. He also had no suggestions for her medication or for anyone else who might have suggestions.

Her therapist was helpful, but did you know that a therapist cannot talk with a client if that client is out of state even temporarily? And Nicole and I were determined to get outside the confines of the condo into weather that wasn’t cold, dark, and grey. Would it be good for the mental health of either of us to twiddle our thumbs while trying to advance through the agonizingly slow process?

The therapist had one concern. She said Nicole feeling like a burden and being around a supportive family was not a good combo. Now, that might take some thinking about, but it sort of makes sense. So what’s the solution? Well, we aren’t going to stop being supportive. So we will have to do everything we can to convince her she is not a burden. Just as she was never a disappointment.

After executing her civic duty (where the results didn’t do much to brighten our days), we traveled back to Florida.

From Florida, she continued working the process. She found a therapist licensed in Florida and talked with her a few times. She contacted a psychiatrist and recently had a first appointment. (The appointment was canceled and rescheduled a couple of times because the psychiatrist sent forms to the wrong email address. The psychiatrist apologized when it was determined it was an error on her part.) And she finally was successful in registering for an outpatient program after the doctor first faxed the referral to the wrong number and then sent an incomplete form to the right number.

While doing this, she worked out, read, attempted meditation, and made big improvements to her pickleball game.

Thanksgiving

The support team arrived in full force for Thanksgiving – including Lexi for a short time.

Ho, Ho, Ho

Soon we were back down to three adults. And two dogs. (A couple days after Heather and Rex left, my brother Dave dropped Grizzly off for a week.) During this “quiet” time, Nicole made her final push to get into the outpatient program. Once her start date was confirmed, we booked flights back north. (Her insurance doesn’t cover programs outside of MA.)

Neither of us were looking forward to leaving Florida. I told her at least we would go back and get into the Christmas spirit. Nicole appreciates my dark humor.

She was nervous starting the program. As she was packing her lunch, she said she felt like it was the first day of school. She was worried who she was going to sit with at lunch. Meagan reassured her “the cool kids.”

On the first day, she texted “I made a friend!” Of course she did. He sat down with her at lunch wearing a Shrek tee shirt and eating a kiwi, peel and all.

The next day it was two friends.

Day three is Monday.

And she has already put Dave and I through training on problem solving approaches after we bickered about how much money he spent at the grocery store.

That wraps up my fall! How was yours?